You stole my heart

Hello guys, peeps :) This blog post is about someone that I found special to me. Of course she's a girl. Yeah, she's short, small size, sweet talker, and she got a great great smile :) (: I called her BumBum. Haha. Sbb apa tak tahu la. Since last week, aku rasa dia ni biasa je, tak special pun dkt hati aku masa tu, texting pun mcm kawan-2 biasa, memang takde feeling pun dkt dia. Yes, I admit sekarang, aku rasa selesa bergurau dgn dia. And first thing, pernah jumpa dia dkt UTP. Tapi, sorry masa tu takde feel pun dkt dia, hehe. Mandrem me kan youuuuu! Aku rasa bersalah dkt someone yg aku dah declare, tapi aku kena admit jugak, aku perlu kan masa for all this stuff, ni kena take time, sbb aku tak nak tersalah pilih or tersalah sayang orang, so please give me time to make it clearer okay. Aku confuse dgn benda-2 ni lagi lepas apa yg berlaku in August. Please don't blame me okay, ex gf. Bukan nak jadi player, tak langsung just that's the reason why aku tak nak declare awal-2. Aku takut la bab-2 hati ni. Sorry. Aku tak perlu girl yg trying so hard to make me love you, tapi yg dah naturally inside herself. Aku sayang kau la Bumbum. I had a great time talking to you last night.

xoxo,
zaf.

In My Opinion

Okay, hi guys, peeps. Firstly, dah lama away from blog sbb busy, seriously takde masa. So ni baru la update. This post is about my feeling towards someone, aku jujur eh, aku dah lama break, and buat rasa lagi lama bila aku benci ex aku, HAHA. Aku suka ramai orang tapi sayang ahahahaha, of course sorang je. Aku admit bila aku suka someone, *pssssttt maybe dah admit dkt ramai girl, tp having crush biasa-2.* aku layan dia lain macam. Sayang is a different thing la. Kalau single pun, best jugak, tapi get jealous bila nampak cute couple holding hands dkt Mall ke, dkt mana-2 la. To be honest, aku memang tak sweet pun, susah la kalau girl yg couple dgn aku berharap aku nak jadi sweet gila, bukan tak boleh, tapi sbb dah serik kot. Malas nak layan kerenah perempuan sgt, sooner or later, aku yg kecewa. Whattafish. For me, don't rush to be in a relationship, chill-2 je dulu :) Cheers

xoxo,
zaf.

Toodaloo DIB 5.

Hey sorry guys, lama away sikit sebab busy dgn kawan-kawan. Keluar sana sini, especially at night, siang tidur :)
So, this post is about the hardest goodbye. Firstly, this is the last semester for all my DIB batch 5. Aku extend, atas sebab MC operation masa bulan August hari tu, so... This is the last semester I'll be with them, nanti diorg dah practical and aku start sem 5 balik on January 2012. Bukan tak sedih after all we've gone through since first semester. #Happy #Sedih #Marah #Terkilan #Moody Yang paling penting... #Best moment with full of laughter.
For all DIB 5, take care. I'll be missing you guys a lot. Betul ni. Apa-apa, in case kalau tak dapat contact thru FB. Sila-sila lah text me. Masing-masing dah jauh lepas ni, sorang Kedah, sorg KL, sorg Taiping. Nak jumpa entah bila, jangan lost contact dah la. Hope korang happy and get a better future. Kita grad sama-sama jugak nanti, Pn. Masyita cakap. So jumpa korang next year on November okay. InsyaAllah. Machy, take care I'm gonna miss you, anything just call me, seriously I sayang you. Terlalu banyak kenangan kita, sampai I susah nak cerita dah. Tapi yg I igt, dulu kita selalu lepak rahman berempat kan. Sembang2, makan angin nak moto. Then ingat tak dulu you selalu belanja I kalau kita pergi 7e, you mesti tanya I, 'you nak apa? I belanja.' Semua kebaikan you and semua sekali I xkan pernah lupa. And ingat tak, dulu, you sayang sangat dekat Fufue si Guinea Pig I tu, dia pun sayang you jugak :') Lepas tu ingat tak, kita terjatuh moto kat depan 7e depan2 senior, hehe. Nak cover malu, kita masuk 7e buat2 sembang, haha. I love you friend. Apeez, take care jugak and jgn lupa kenangan Cameron, bg aku, kau la best buddy aku, for guys, sbb kau ni different, kau mcm abang aku dah la, banyak yg kita share kan. I will always miss you apeez. Mjay, kau tetap buddy aku, tetap bro aku. Walaupun actually aku sedih pasal blog kau tu, aku cuba utk maafkan kata-kata kau masa tu tapi xboleh, skrg imma bout to leave you guys, so I have to admit that I miss you bro. Selalu kita lepak dulu kan. Masa hostel dulu kita nakal kan, sangatsangat. Rindu dekat cake, jaga makan minum dia baikbaik ye. :'( Nadz & Kecik, thanks banyak tolong all these while, tumpangkan ke class, sangat2 thanks ok. Nadz, nanti ada kucing baru bgtahu ek. Btw tadi mama I amik satu cupcake you hehe :) Nadz, I still ingat jasa baik you dkt I, still fresh in my memories, you back up I masa I kantoi rokok dekat level one tu. Kalau bukan pasal you, I dah lama kena buang, thanks Nadzirah Ahmad Rashidi. Mira, rindu nak dgr you gelak nanti, hope you lama dengan Rafiq :) Fatin, jgn sedih2, ada masa kita jumpa lagi eh. Jaga Topek elok2. And G'are jugak :') Ct, be happy with your future okay, rindu nak study Eco dekat tangga masa sem 1. Alea, had a good memories masa KASUKMA dulu :) And budak rumah Mohd Ika, korang, rindu sangat kat korg, jgn lupa aku cakap dulu, jangan tinggal pinggan kat cafe k, hehe. Syue, study hard. Face the real life okay :)  Zuwaa, mama, thanks, jangan moody2, tak baik. Nanti buat donut lagi taw! Sara, nanti pape roger2 dekat Ipoh jela ek. Seriously rindu korang nanti. Kenangan paling aku xboleh lupa is masa 2nd sem keluar dgn Kecik, Mira, Ct, Machy and Mjay. Kita pergi Parade, makan dekat Kopitiam, jalan2 dekat F.O.S. Hm. Korang mmg d best bagi aku walaupun aku jujur, kadang2 ada je kita sakit hati semua, tp actually, I love you guys. Bila nak pergi baru terasa gila berat nak tinggalkan korang semua. Berat rasa nak tinggalkan korang. Tapi kita masing-masing ada life sendiri kena manage kan. And nak mintak maaf kalau ada buat korang bengang, marah, sedih ke, I'm sorry, memang tak sengaja, well nobody's perfect kan. Sorry. Byeeeeeeee. I guess that's it. Good luck for your future. Lastly, love you guys so much.

xoxo,

Yana.

Ashley, you are so gorgeous :)

                                                 
                                                                                                                                                                 

Who's this? She's a new American butch. Which I found some of her videos in Youtube, you guys can have a look at her first video, called 'Fashion Police Lesbian Edition'. Omg. Ashley is so gorgeous. Handsome of courseeee :) Btw, her name is Ashley Yielding. She was born on April 18, 1989. So she's 22 right now. Damn she's freaking hot. In my point of view, she's better than Dani Shay, I mean in the way of appearance. Dani Shay has a Superb Voice, but this Ashley has a knowledge in styles. Yeah, I think I like this butch. Keep it up Ashley :)

Feel touched by this story :')

When U Were Only 5 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U...
U Asked Me: "What Is It?"
When U Were 15 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Blushed.. U Look Down And Smile..
When U Were 20 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Put Ur Head On My Shoulder And Hold My Hand.. Afraid That I Might Dissapear..
When U Were 25 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Prepare Breakfast And Serve It In Front Of Me, And Kiss My Forhead N
Said : "U Better Be Quick, Is’s Gonna Be Late.."
When U Were 30 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Said: "If U Really Love Me, Please Come Back Early After Work.."
When U Were 40 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Were Cleaning The Dining Table And Said: "Ok Dear, But It’s Time For U To Help Our Child With His/Her Revision.."
When U Were 50 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Were Knitting And U Laugh At Me..
When U Were 60 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Smile At Me..
When U Were 70 Yrs Old. I Said I Love U....
We Sitting On The Rocking Chair With Our Glasses On.. I’m Reading Your Love Letter That U Sent To Me 50 Yrs Ago..With Our Hand Crossing Together..
When U Were 80 Yrs Old, U Said U Love Me!
I Didn’t Say Anything But Cried.

Excuses turns into Karma

Holla guys. Today im gonna write something about feelings and love. Memang bila datang pasal love, kita tak dapat deny yang kita seronok sangat bila fallin in love with someone. Whether they're straight, gay, lesbian, and so on. For me, love is fucking GENDERLESS. But, there's something we should accept that the fact of a heart break. Normal la tu, semua yg in love akan rasa heart break tu. Alasan-alasan yg always kita terima -

● I terpaksa tinggalkan you sebab family I tak suka I dgn you

● I'm sorry, I takde niat nak melayan that 'guy' or 'girl' tapi....

● I tinggalkan you sebab I fikir my studies dulu, then only you

● I'm sorry, I'm leaving Malaysia next month, distance can't              separates us (Tapi...)

● I sayang you, tapi I rasa takat sini jela hubungan kita. I'm sorry.

Blablabla. Semua orang akan bagi alasan bodoh2 kalau dah terdetik nak tinggalkan pasangan mereka. Tapi, 90% out of 100 akan bagi alasan 'nampak mcm niat baik' padahal dah memang takde hati dekat bf/gf dia. This is called suckers. Terus terang susah sangat? Based on my experience, I pun pernah tinggalkan sorg girl sebab I have a big crush on someone else. *JAHATNYA* Tapi tu dulu, masa kecik2 couple. Tak tahu apa2 lagi. And I deserve to be punished. Karma punched me like a million times. 

The moral of the story, try to be honest. And try to control your attitude and feelings. This will contribute a major heart breaks to your partner. And Karma will definately put your name in their wishlist :)

                Karma doesn't recycle things, but people.

Speechless Moment when......

Dear ex,
I'm sorry cuz I can't delete our blog. Sucks. I can't remember the password. And I know, I can get it from google account, but it just stuck and there's something wrong somewhere about my email account. I'm so sorry about that. I've tried like so many times to get the password using other email. And. I hope you understand why I didn't remove my blog post. You said that I'm sorry causing all those lies and you hurt me so bad in previous. To be frank with you, I'm not your puppet anymore. Some sort of emotionless robotic or whatsoever. Between you and your bf, there's nothing to do with me, I didn't ask him to view my blog by the way. And I have no idea how he could find my blog. Fucking weird. Ask him personally okay. Cuz I don't even know him. Please mind your words. You can't just simply blame others for causing your broken heart with your future love. I don't know what the fucking hell with your situation right now. All of a sudden you called me. Hey I have my own life to handle, to be managed. Okay, here's a simple example for you. IF I'm taken by someone. Mrs 'A' and I have a lil confusing situation whereby my gf doesn't know anything about you, and not even your name. Suddenly she found our blog, and she asked me to explain bout that, How would you feel if I call you and ask you to remove everything and I said that you are the major probs for causing our break up? You would feel the same way too. You salah dekat mana tahu? You tak jujur dgn dia about your past. Tu je yg boleh I cakap. Kalau I jadi dia, I pun marah. I know, I ni jijik ke hape ke. You, berubah tu biarlah slow2. take time to forget take time to move on. Sekarang, kalau you break dgn dia sekali pun, kenapa salahkan I? Sbb blog I? I percaya, kalau you terus terang, dia kalau ternampak blog I pon, dia xkan marah. Sbb dia tahu. Ni dia find out sendiri, I pun tak tahu nak cakap apa la you. Apa dia rasa apa yang I rasa dulu. Remember, kalau kita pernah terjatuh, bangun, and hati-hati, setiap langkah kita mungkin akan terjatuh lagi. So, kenapa tak jujur dgn dia je memandangkan you dulu tak jujur dgn I banyak benda. Stop call I marah2. Dia dah nampak pun, nothing can change anymore. Mcm loser je I delete sedangkan dia dah baca. I tak sayang you dah lagi, so don't worry, I tak pernah pun pk nak kacau relationship korang. You, I boleh hidup tanpa you. So sekarang you patut ke hadapan pk your future. Camne nak handle semua, kenapa perlu blame I? Seolah-olah mcm I blame you sbb I single, tak ke bodoh je dengar nya tu? Lain la I sendiri yg bagi link tu kat bf you, mmg yela I salah. Jujur dgn setiap perbuatan. Tu sangat bermakna dalam relationship. Bukan by calling him B and he called you Baby yang penting, its all about being honest je. Okay. Taraaaaa. Takyah marah2 Ayid sangat la, dia tak bersalah pape. Ada dalang lain yang cuba musnahkan you. Jgn tuduh, cari bukti baru speak out. Jangan melulu sangat la okay. Bye. Don't ever call me. I tak kenal siapa you.

P/s : Fikir la panjang2. So long and Goodnight. Have a wonderful life. Toodaloo.

Friends. Life. Fate.

Hello guys, peeps. Pagi yang membosankan ni aku tulis blog jela :) This is actually about my feelings. Bercelaru sangat la sekarang. Kenapa er. Macam tak sedap hati, takde mood. Memang la gelak tu ada gelak tapi. Mcm  something yang tak kena. Macam unfamiliar betul college bagi aku sekarang. Shit. Next sem aku tak tahu mcmana. Please be strong. Tak tahu la kenapa mcmni. Nak pergi college pun rasa xnak, rasa down. Apa perasaan ni. Down sebab extend? Damn true. Betul la tu. Sbb aku kena extend, hati pun tak sedap nak jumpa kawan2. Lecturer. And now kena face Pengarah, lagi la pening. Takde hati nak jumpa siapa2 sekarang. Mom, dad. I wanna go home. Kenapa saya extend tapi saya kena hadap muka2 yg tak sepatutnya? Next sem, new chapter lah. This sem I xnak deal dgn mana-mana pihak lagi. Dah fed up asyk nak menghadap pastu kena drop. Fuck this feeling. Walaupun Pengarah let me follow the course this semester, aku rasa nak menjerit je kalau aku pergi class sem ni. Takde confident dah nak pergi, hadap semua lecturer, mesti semua tanya. 'Ai? Kenapa awak ada lagi kat sini? Bukan extend?' Lepas tu, kecoh kat semua lecturer room. Masa case aku extend ke tidak pun diorg dah kepochi semacam. Aku ni budak jahat sangat ke? Tak pulak buat hal besar2. Pasal MC, dok kecoh sangat. Aih, tolong laaaaa. Aku takde semangat ni nak pergi college. DAD!! I wanna go back home. Tak nak stay sini sem ni. Disaster. Down. Buffering. Loading. Durrrrrrr -_____- Fikir kan next sem, memang hancur, tapi I have to wake up la. Zaf, come on. In fact, aku tak boleh bergantung kat siapa2, selalu pun takkan nak harapkan orang right? Hm. New life next sem. Plus, dad just called me, dia kata, kalau aku masuk hostel on October, aku dapat moto, and broadband. Bukan tak nak but aku sekarang takde spirit nak buat apa2, tolong la faham dad, jangan la desak saya smpai mcmni sekali, i need to breathe jugak, tapi dad seems like 'cornering' me la. I'm not ready yet dad. Please. I tahu you sayang I dad, but please. Next sem okay? Bukan apa, I know your planning tu, I faham. But I tak nak I down lagi pleaseeeeee. We need to talk dad. I promise I won't let you down next sem. Idk why, aku selalu susahkan semua orang. Kenapa eh? Zaf, stop la susahkan semua orang. You are such a loser, zaf  :( Bye semua, take cara masa practical nanti. Ada jodoh kita ketemu semula okay :')

Bye guys, good luck for your future, jangan tergelincir mcm aku okay? Machy, Mjay. Love you guys. 

Alicia Keys, thanks for your perfect song

Kenapa lagu ni? Ohh. Sebab pengajaran di sini, mak saya kate, mak kau pun pernah kate, jangan kite buat orang, biar orang buat kita. Okay? Lupa ke kau? Isk2. Kau cerita aku yg terhegeh2 dekat kau? Oh god. Tolong beri petunjuk pada si dia ni. Mulut tah ape2. No wonder. Menyesal kenal kau, number kau tu jangan pernah appear dekat phone aku lagi okay dear ex? Sebab kau dengan aku, kau buat taik belakang aku. Kau ingat aku bodoh ek? Orang mcm kau tak layak utk dikenang. Kau cakap kau tak bukak aib orang? Puiii, kau cerita macam2 pulak kat ramai orang. Aish
kau ni sampah.

Sincerely, zaf. 

P/s : Blog aku, kau takyah sibuk. Diam je, salah kau sbb kau takde hak atas blog aku babe. Kau tak layak nak marah.

The call

English, says Hello. Chinese, says 你好. Portuguese says Olá. German says Guten Tag. Hope you guys doing fine :) So, today's topic is about my damn feeling actually. Last night, I received a call. From. Hm. Question mark. Masa receive call tu, aku dah mcm 'ohh F.A kot yang call, tak pun my beloved papa la tu.' All of a sudden, macam nak terkeluar eye balls weh, nampak 'HANNAH'. Sampai biar lagu 'Boyfriend-Jordan Pruitt' berbunyi and tanya Adie Mjay... 'Huh, *buat muka terkejut Nak angkat ke??' And dia suruh je aku angkat. Okay. Hm. Fuck. Dengar suara yang dah sebulan lebih tak dengar. Dah kaku, terkebil-kebil semua la ada. And she asked me, in order to start the first conversation after what had happened.

H : Hello, siapa ni??

Z : Huh? Zaf la, kenapa?

H : Ohh ingatkan Mer.

Z : Mer balik manjung la.

H : Sihat??

Z : Ohhh sihat je. Hm. Hm. Hm.

H : Hm. Siapa ada kat rumah?

Z : Adie, Mira, Ct, Machy, hehe. Hm. 

H : *kaku la tu, senyap jer. How's study?

Z : Hm. I kan kena extend, for this sem, tak okay la kot, next sem.

H : Erm. Kla.

Z : Okay, take care.

H : Take care tau, jangan lupa makan okay.

Z : Okay, bye.

...........Aih, kenapa call aku, kenapa hannah? Why. Tolong. Teringat kau selalu datang rumah ni dulu, banyak sangat masa kau dengan aku dulu, tapi. Sekarang, kau dgn dia. Dia. Jagalah hati dia, Jangan contact aku lagi please. Aku tak nak Zharif kata aku Pengkid rosakkan kau dulu. Please? Serindu mana pun kau dekat aku, simpan je dalam hati, rasa bersalah mana pun kau dekat aku, kau move on dengan life kau. Sebagaimana kuat kau hancurkan hati aku dulu. Aku nak kau kuat untuk benci aku jugak sekarang. Bukan tak nak kawan dengan kau, tapi. Aku nak kau kuat macamana kau tak contact aku tanya khabar aku masa aku masuk hospital dulu. Yang aku ada kawan2 masa tu. Kau hilang, roh kau lesap. Padahal kau wujud. So, aku nak kau lesap mcm dulu jugak. Aku tak kejam macam kau fikir dulu, tapi aku tak benci kau jugak, Hannah. Just aku benci perbuatan kau yang tak berterus terang masa hati kau dah kosong dekat aku. Dah pudar dekat aku. Dah takde effort untuk hubungan kita dulu. Aku benci tu. Aku tak benci kau. Aku harap kau faham okay? Demi future kau, aku sanggup korbankan 'true-spirit' aku. Aku harap kau faham sangat kenapa. Walaupun aku tahu kau takkan pernah cuba untuk put yourself into my situation. Apa pun, bak kata kau, 'you are part of my life'. Yeah, kau pernah jadi part of my life, aku harap kau happy dengan future kau. Alright? Sorry remove Ieala Dalila. Sebab. Biar aku je tahu kenapa. Btw, aku dah terserempak dengan Lei dulu, kau je tak tahu, betapa aku rasa nak pengsan depan kedai tu. Sekarang aku bgtahu sbb aku tak nak kau salahkan aku sbb konon aku yg nak cari Lei. Itu dinamakan TAKDIR untuk berjumpa. Tak tegur pun jangan risau. Viva plat number J. Okay Hannah, toodaloo. Take care yeah.

Sincerely, Zaf.

Dear Ex

Hi guys. Hi peeps. I just woke up. Nak tulis semalam, tapi damn tired, plus takde mood, so I wrote it now. 8.07am, 24th September. Okay, here's d thing, semalam tiba-tiba je balik drp kedai makan, and my friend IM aku dkt FB, and ingatkan just to say hi, wats up. Tapi... Ktorg tiba2 boleh cakap pasal my ex. I shouldn't revealed her name here cuz nanti my ex baca, gonna be explode pulak. But, idk why boleh bro aku tanya, mcmana boleh break up dgn 'ex' aku tu? Dalam hati.. "Gosh I tak nak pk pasal dia lagi, I dah lama fullstop kan psl 'dia' sebab sejujurnya, menyampah nak dengar nama dia, haha.  But bro punya pasal, aku cerita jugak, she wanted to  know the damn fuckin story between us dulu. I couldn't deny that memang tak adil pun, aku ada point-point tersendiri which is, kalau semua butch pun takkan suka kalau ex kita teringat kat ex dia lebih2 kan? Faham kan apa aku rasa? Takkan tak? Just imagine. Korg ada gf, gf korg pernah dgn butch lain before korg, bila korg together, korg ternampak benda yg menyakitkan hati, bila tanya, korg yg kena maki, tempelak, korg suka tak? Mcmtu la life aku. Tapi still, aku tak jugak baik dekat mata dia, apa yg dia nampak aku xtahu, semua tak kena, siap hina-hina life aku. *Awat life hang baguih sangat dah ka? Tanya sendiri dulu ok 'my ex'. Hina bapak aku, aku diam je, tapi  hina aku, sorry la sayang, I saved our conversation dahulu kala, sebab kau biadap sangat nak hina aku. Kau dah ada mcm2 ek? Ohh. Mana? Mana? Tak nampak pun. Kita ni sama je level, kaya mana, miskin mana. Adab tu yg penting. Dear bro, you should have removed her early, drp bro sakit hati tengok page dia kan? Haha. *Me either :) Bahagia aku takde dia dah dekat FB aku. Not to say I have bad impression, consumption towards my ex, tapi aku je lalui, korg tak tahu, korg tak faham. Sakitnya dari awal, sampai akhir. Benci tu tak tergambar mcmana. Aku tak cakap jugak aku baik, aku pernah je kasar dgn dia sampai dia cerita kat semua big bro dia, aku ni buat dia mcmni mcmtu. Bodoh jugak la tu, sebab aku atleast tak msg girl lain cakap I love you or I miss our memories masa aku dgn 'dia'. Sebab aku tahu, aku tak couple dengan boneka bodoh kan? :) Aku melayan sorg girl yg 'my ex' ni tak suka sebab.... Aku fed up dengan perangai dia, dia buat boleh? Aku tak boleh? Ohhh pandainya, memang adil sangat dah tu kan? Tapi, aku melayan sorg girl ni pun takde nak panggil sayang, baby, ktorg jumpa dekat Ipoh pun, mcm mmber, tapi 'si ex aku ni, tuduh macam nampak aku ber-romen kah? Ask yourself. Bodoh sebab sayang org yg tak back up bf sendiri, tapi back up kenangan. Dia kata, aku takkan pernah faham dia. Tapi, dia pernah nak faham aku? Layanan makin teruk sem ni, apakah wei? Nak kasi aku hint? Alalalala, comel nya awak ni, kata awak matured sangat, kenapa tak cakap je dkat saya? Takyah layan teruk sangat, menimbulkan benci ada la. Karma always right. Just wait, saya tak doakan, tapi kalau betul kau buat aku, akan ada yg menunggumu kelak, okay 'dear ex'. Sorry kasar bahasa ye. You faham kenapa I cmni, bad experienced. :)


      Sincerely, fuck you.

Korang takkan faham apa aku rasa :')

Hey guys, today bercadang nak tidur awal, but I can't, mata ni dah degil sangat, skype-ing with Ejard, tweet-ing what's bothering my mind and FINALLY, blogging of course. Semalam, sucks. Hari semua orang patah hati, sedih, down, tak sihat, wtf? Malang betul semalam, oh goshh. Skype dengan Bee Babyface, menangis, Ejard patah hati Liaa buat hal. Muffin pulak tengah dillema takut gf turning straight. Angah Shah and Pia tak puas hati dengan someone ni, ape lagi? *sigh* Ohh lupa, aku pulak teringat those days yang sedih macam celaka, kenapa la semalam everything jadi? Menangis depan webbie mcm org psycho tengok kasut merah. I wish life had 'Undo Button'. Or 'Fast-forward Button'. Sick and tired of this life. In the mood of CONFUSION right now. Tak tahu apa aku nak sekarang, I need my spirit back. Takde siapa yg boleh return my mood and spirit back. Sebab dia ikut Hannah. HAHA. No, I was kidding. Taklah, ikut siapa aku tak tahu tapi takde spirit langsung sekarang ni, tu kerja aku makan tidur, smoke, mandi, online. What's life macam tu. Damn. Mom, I need you. Bukan tak nak balik, tapi ma, I serabut, I tak nak you and dad see me this way, muka tak senyum, menggambarkan sesuatu yang tak kena dengan Liyana Zafira. Walaupun you both knew me well. Tahu mood I cmne, tahu I suka sorang2 kunci pintu duduk dalam bilik, senyap. Mom.. Dad.. I'm sorry, banyak sangat buat korg susah hati all this while. That's why I xnak balik. I'm sorry, causing a lot of troubles. I miss you ma. You too pa. *Kalau ada jodoh, kita jumpa lagi -- Ost Sekali lagi (Mia Sara)

Hannah, for you.

Hi followers. Hi friends. Hi stalkers. Hi everyone. Dah sebulan berlalu, tapi kenapa sekarang bru nak teringat? Hm, idk why. Sebelum ni chill je? Sekarang teringat sangat pulak. Hannah, how are you? I hope you okay dekat sana. Okay dengan cinta baru :) I'm fine here. Tapi tu lah, kadang2 you popped my mind. Tapi I rasa I makin kuat rather than before, selalu menangis bila you nak balik Kulim, or KL. Now, I kurang lembik macam tu. Which is good for me. You dgn bf camana? Hey, I didn't mean those words yang kasar, tapi I rasa you patut faham apa I rasa kan? Tak senang I nak terima. *Biasa la, benda yang kita tak nak terjadi. Btw, sorry remove you jugak, I tak nak myself hurt seeing your activities in FB. Yeah, you know why jugak rite. Ada bagus juga you block I, atleast you boleh buat life you, I boleh lead my own life w/out sakit hati kan? I dah agak semua ni berlaku since you kata, you nak start pakai tudung sem 5 kan. I dah agak sangat, I'm sorry, tp I terpaksa jugak cakap you sama mcm Shua, my ex. Kena terima lah kenyataan tu ye? Hihi. Babe, don't lie. I tahu bila you dah nak pakai tudung, I tak halang tapi dalam hati I terfikir, takkan you nak dtg rumah I and doing things yang as previous kan sedangkan you dah bertudung, I fikir tu semua, Hannah. Tapi you je men-deny kan apa I rasa, walhal betul kan? I sayang you. Betul I tak tipu, tapi sekarang tidak lagi, bukan sebab I ada pengganti, tapi sebab hati I dah tawar dengan janji-janji manis semua orang drp dulu. Sorry ye? Well, I know its your own future, you kena fk semua tu drp you dah rasa nak berubah, I know babe. Life seorang 'tidak straight' ni tak senang. I rasa I lagi lama berperasaan songsang ni dari you. I tahu, surroundings yang buat I jadi mcmni Hannah. I tak salahkan parents or anyone, I yang pilih, tapi its hard to explain to everyone. Complicated gila. Benda yang subjective. Mama kirim salam by the way. Dia tanya je, I jwb 'ohh ada je ktorg contact'. Padahal, FUCK, I LIED. Nahhh, its okay, I'm fine :) This sem was disaster for me. Operation, heart break, goshhh. tapi I lalui dengan tabah, hehe. Chill jela, masalah takleh nak lari pun mcmana kita nak avoid sekali pun right. I miss all those fucking memories babe. Seriously do. But I tak nak pk. Sbb nanti I meracau rasa nak contact you, hahaha.  Tahu sebab apa I tiba2 ingat you? Sebab I termenung dekat kasut merah I, hehe. Okay lah hannah, I got to go, I nak breakfast nasik lemak mak cik tepi rumah I, hehe. Hope you baca okay. Take care, just remember, jaga hati you tu, cuz he's the first guy you in love kan? Hehe. I support you. Always. P/s : Bye peekaboo.

Goodbye, take care :)

LOL

Believe in yourself, you can do it, and ignore what people talks about you or whatsoEVER, just do your work, go to class, don't delay your homework okay, Then you'll be just fine. ANDD, don't easily get stressed up okay. P/S : Biasa laaaaa college life kan :)

Starbucks Babyyyy

Motive picture ni actually sebab rindu my hannah, ♥ Why starbucks? Sebab dia kerja situ part time so bila tengok logo ni, automatically I'll remember her. Love you. Miss you. And d most important thing is I dont wanna lose you.

Sayap ditemui

Insan yang bongkak - AKU

Insan yang lemah - AKU

Insan yang sombong - AKU

Insan yang tidak pernah sempurna - AKU

Insan yang bodoh - AKU

Semua yang negative dtgnya dr aku. Aku punca segalanya. Maaf atas kesilapan aku. Atas perbuatan aku. Hanya aku yang bersalah dalm hal ini. Tapi aku sedar, sekian lama aku mencari jawapan. Itu membuktikan. 2.04am telah membuktikan segala keburukan aku, yang aku alami. Aku bersumpah aku takda apa2, aku tak pernah menipu dalam hal harta mahupun hati. Ape yang aku rasa, aku luah, ape yang aku mampu, aku beri. Aku tak pernah kata yang aku ni ada berjuta2 yang mampu menaikkan taraf aku. Tak pernah. Aku tahu dikala kau ditimpa kesusahan, aku tak menghulurkan bantuan. Sebab aku jujur aku tak mempunyai harta yang mampu menolong org dalam kesusahan. Aku pernah berkata dahulu, letakkan aku paling akhir dalam hidup kau. Aku yakin, kau mampu lupakan aku, tiada sebab untuk kau mengingatiku. Aku tidak mempunyai apa2. Yang ada hanyalah sifat negatif aku. Aku tak mampu nak menjual sikap aku untuk mendapatkan wang, tapi aku mampu ubah untuk jadi yang lebih baik. Aku hanyalah seorang insan yang berlagak tapi dengan kebodohan aku sendiri, mana pergi adab? Jika tidak mengenaliku, nescaya yang buruk itu terlafaz di bibirmu. Sebab cinta dengan perkataan, bukan dengan hati. Macamana kau sekali pun, tak terdetik dihati aku benda yang buruk2. Aku selalu membisik.. 'Dia tetap aku punya, seteruk mana pun, sekejam mana pun'. Aku tetap memujuk hati dengan kerelaan diri sendiri. Percayalah, setiap yang dilafazkan ketika bergaduh, itulah yang nyata. Yang suci tanpa pendustaaan. Aku percaya, segala itu datang dari hati yang ikhlas. Aku berangkat, setelah dihina dan dicaci. Terima kasih atas cintamu, aku menghargai pengorbanan itu. Tolong benci aku, tolong. Aku percaya dengan itu, kau bahagia. Terbanglah jauh dariku agar kau bahagia :')

Mencari idea untuk hadiah Si Dia :')

I wish in Malaysia and more specific, in IPOH ada tempat yg jual cookies macamni, but 'BOLEH MIMPI LA'. I wonder who's gonna make this, makcik nasik lemak dkt taman saya? HAHA. OMJAYY. Teringin nak bg cookies ni kat my beloved keding. Buat sendiri la? Ermm. *Buat popia tahu la, cookies tak tahu, yg saya tahu nak campurkan telur dan tepung je, HAHA.Urghh god, ape benda special nak bagi dia ni. Perangai si dia ni pelik2, mana dapat entah. Org bagi present, dia boleh simpan dengan price tag pulak. TILL NOW plak tu. Awak nak simpan sampai bila? Sampai semut gigit boxer watermelon awak tu? LOL. Takpe, I promise you, kita cari benda unique nanti k. Saya tak jumpa lagi sekarang. Sbb kat Seri Iskandar ni ada apa, MyPet, Rahman, Mesra Tomyam. Nothing unique pun disini. Yang unique tentang Seri Iskandar ni cuaca dia je, SNOW API :) Haha. Awak, nanti kita cari k. Saya pun dah 2months xbalik Ipoh rumah 'kesayangan' saya tu.

Life

Do what makes you happy
Be with the ones that makes you smile
Laugh as much as you breathe
And love as long as you live
xoxoxoxo

Something in me :)

A long journey to seek

There are two ways, up and down

If you choose up, try to seek your life & happiness together, He promised us if we have the efforts, we finally have the answer

But if we choose to go down, you are drowning with all the suckers..

Try to have the spirits of life..

With all the obstacles we've gone thru, Insyaallah, there will be a way that might save you. Do trust Him and His occurrence.

Spirit, where are you? Why you run away from me.... ? :(

Feelings that shouln't be revealed

Standard la terasa. Manusia kan. Tapi bila aku terasa, takde sape pun dtg pujuk ke ape. Tp bila 'diorg' tu terasa, tau pulak nak dipujuk. Nthla, i am really upset. But its okay, aku pun faham. Aku ni xde siapa2, i dont know how n whom to share with bout my feelings ni. I just have myself. And this blog. I just wanna die. Boleh ke kalau saya ni nak share apa yg saya rasa? Takkan pernah boleh sbb confirm dimaki balik, padahal salah tu cm kecik je and tak payah nk timbul pergaduhan pun tapi? That's why i just need to be alone, kena pendam je apa yg saya rasa. Dengan semua feelings yang ada ni, I should die. I just fucked up dengan life ni, its so annoying lah. My feelings ni cm seumpama memendam segala benda. And i just need to keep it inside my heart and locked it. I don't want anyone to open and explore my heart. I just hate this feelings.